Shall we have trust?

Trust is a basic emotion that we should have for people. However, to what extend can we trust a person?

After 20+ years of being human, I find trusting another human being so hard. It's very hurtful that the person you trust let you down. At the end of the day, you just wished you haven't trusted anyone.

During my university days, I joined a community service program to a village. I brought something very important to me along with me. It was my first electronic dictionary. Those days, e-dictionaries cost RM1000+. It meant a lot to me as the it was the first ever possession that I used my own money to buy. I had been saving the ang pow money for years for that.

I was in the bus from MMU to the village. I put my e-dictionary in a transparent file together with some teaching materials. I was holding it all the time in the bus. While we reached, I forgot whether I was carrying other computers out the bus or went to the toilet. When I wanted to get back to the bus to get my dictionary, Yee Peng and Kok Thong stopped me. They said all our things had already been moved down the bus.

When I asked them whether they took my file which I put up the dashboard. They said that the bus was empty. They asked me to check my luggage on the floor. While I was checking my bags, the bus left. The file was no where to be found. As I told them my file was still in the bus, they did nothing. They thought I over reacted and said coolly that we could get the file later when we get back from the village to MMU.

I waited patiently for the few days to pass. Finally, the bus arrived. I checked the dashboard above my seat, my file was no where to be found. I asked the bus driver but he said he hadn't seen it. Then, I checked the dashboard above the driver seat, The file was there! He lied!

When I looked into my transparent file, my heart sank. My e-dictionary was gone. I asked the driver where was the e-dictionary in the file. The driver claimed that another bus driver might have taken it. He gave me the name of the driver which I have now forgotten.

I then went back to MMU to look for the bus drivers. All claimed that they did not take it. I filed a lost item to the MMU management but was not being looked into. I had gone back and forth the management office for several times but still no news.

I always thought, I was so close to not losing it. If I insisted in getting in the bus to check rather than trusting both of them, will I get so much pain every now and then? I guess the pain is not because of losing things, it is the fact that you trust the wrong person.

No one console me while I cried back then. In fact, I guess maybe no one knows about this incident. Now only I knew that I was so tough back then. I didn't seek help from anyone and dealt with this all alone. I didn't want to make a big fuss out of it. I don't think my family members knew the details too, do you sisters?

You know what I thought back then? I thought, hopefully it was given to a bus driver who had kids. At least the kids would be able to learn from it. If they could put it to full use, I guess I helped out in their studies too.

As for the trust part, I guess you should always leave room for accidents. Sometimes even we make mistakes ourselves, how can we demand more from others? I guess trust comes with a certain extend. If it is really important, it is better to do it ourselves. If you can't do it yourself, then I guess you can just trust with low expectations. ^_^

Get used to getting more!

The title itself is not something I will say. However, (hmm.. this is becoming advertorial) thanks to CIMB bank, I am saying this after being bribed with free satay!

It happened on a fine weekday evening. My friends and I were waiting for our chicken satay to be served. Then the waiter served extra 3 ABC with ice cream that we did not order. Therefore, we were arguing with the waiter that we did not order the food.

Kar Leng said, "Ini tak ada order!" However they insisted in putting them down. We were wondering why they insisted in putting them down. Then the waiter surprised us by saying "Semua free dah, dah bayar semua."

"Siapa?" Boon Keat pop out the question. "Ada orang la!" said the waiter. Well, we had different thoughts. Boon Keat thought someone stroke a lottery and "ring the bell". You know, "This round is on me?"

Well, I came out with a scenario and a dream. I thought it's the birthday or a happy day for some rich Datuks. So he came to visit satay and decided to give everyone a treat! Yeah! At the same time, I dreamt that it is my secret admirer who paid our bills. (Aww... wake up!)

Then these red shirt ladies pop up! "Surprise!" Oh... It's from CIMB Bank. I don't know what CIMB Prime is but I do know it kill my dream for my secret admirer. *sob sob*

The free dinner is a courtesy from CIMB Prime. They filmed the whole process of us getting surprised. However, the video quality is not really good as they're using a Sony compact camera to film it.

Our video is uploaded to their website. Please help voting for us as they say we will stand a chance to win a grand prize. However, the "grand prize" is still yet to review.

Boon Keat, Kenny, Me, Kar Leng and husband

Please click on this link to vote for us!! A thousand thanks to you who showed your support!!

I am very grateful to CIMB Prime! Getting a free dinner is not so easy nowadays. I am really happy that they picked us. I had a great night, a night with free dinner and fun and laughter with my friends.

A Little Surprise ^__^

I wanted to write this post some time ago. I thought it was really very sweet.

Girls like surprises I guess. However, I am in a minor group of not-so-into-surprises kind of girl. I always think surprises come with a price. In order to make the surprise happen, you will need to lie.

There was one time, a friend was looking forward to seeing her long distanced bf on her birthday. Her bf suddenly called the day before to tell her that he was not able to come. Then she cried and was sad for the whole day. Then on her birthday, her bf appeared as a surprise.

Maybe I am too down to earth, my calculations told me that was not a surprise. Her bf basically made her sad for the entire day and then taking advantage of the sadness for the surprise to come. It looked more like playing her feelings to me.

Then again, although I have a high defination on surprises, I still manage to have a little surprise. I didn't know surprises can be so sweet.

I have promised him to watch "Orphan". He loves horror movie! I never liked horror, I would have nightmares after watching. However, I insisted in watching it with him as it had been quite some time since we watched horror movie together.

Queuing into the cinema was like queuing for a roller coaster ride. While sitting in the cinema, I felt like I was on a roller coaster already, waiting it to go downhill. I looked at him nervously, "I guess I am going to sleep!" I murmered.

Soon later, the movie started with a happy music. "Hmm... How come the music is not horrible?" "Maybe it's a new way how horror movie works nowadays. Happy in the beginning, later comes the horror part." I thought.

Then I saw, "Sandra Bullock" on the screen. "Hmm... Sandra Bullock, she sounds familar. Does she stars in Orphan? Oh, I didn't know that. I guess the movie's not that bad after all." I am really slow when it comes to surprises. I still thought we were watching "Orphan" until I saw "The Proposal" coming out from the screen.

I rolled my eyes! I looked at him with disbelief! He throw me a "you're stupid" look. "You didn't know Sandra Bullock stars in "The Proposal" meh?" He exhaled with a slight frustration. "Haha.. I forgot!" I said as I wrapped his left arm. I was a happy little girl.

The proposal was fantastic. I am not sure whether it's because of the surprise, I enjoyed it very much! But still, I have to watch Orphan with him soon because I said I would. *sob sob*

七夕的雨天

窗外正下着细雨，那是因为感叹牛郎跟织女的爱情吗？是天气的关系吗？心情也跟着灰灰的。

好像好久都没有时间好好的坐在电脑面前。本来跟自己约好今天要把饥饿30的照片放上网。但现在却觉得懒洋洋，什么都不想做。

以前总有花不完的时间，所以都会睡觉睡超过8小时，也常常都会拉人陪我看戏。总觉得马来西亚人都很幸福，看戏实在太便宜了！！

以前常常都会有人说我太浪费时间，应该多做有意义的事。所以，现在的我，忙了。

忙，好吗？

一直都会有吃晚餐的习惯。今天的晚餐却只是眼前的这杯豆奶。但喝起来很甜，很好喝。这杯豆奶令我想起了饥饿30营，令我想起很多没有三餐温饱的小孩。

以前生日的时候，我都很贪心，誓要好好利用生日愿望。本来希望自己天天开心。但后来想如果家人不平安，我也不会开心。所以就希望合家平安开心。然后又想，如果我的朋友发生什么事，我也不会开心的。所以每年都索性愿个 “天下太平”。

现在想，天下太平，谈何容易呢？

所以只有尽自己的力量，让这个世界更美好。

悦慈，加油咯！

Third Parties

我从来都不明白第三者是怎么想的....

xxx

I never understand the thoughts of a third party. They have always appeared so confident. They always think they are the center of attraction. They think everyone, including people who already have a girlfriend/boyfriend, are head over heals in love with them.

But at the same time, it appears to me that they are those people who do not have self-confidence at all. I don't know whether to hate them or to pity them.

Why do I hate a third party in a relationship? Well, they happened to have the same lines. I have at least heard three third parties saying this, "It's not my fault that she chose me over him," or worst, "It's not my fault if she can't take care of his own boyfriend." Well, some even don't admit saying that before.

In this modern world, do we still hate third party so much? I mean it's a competitive world. We compete among each other to get what we want. We compete with other candidates for a job. We compete with our colleagues to get promoted. And yet, can competition be applied in relationships?

Do you compete with one and other to win the guy of your dreams? Is it something like shown on TV, "The Bachelor"? How well can you accept being picked or chosen like roses in the market?

Love is supposed to be sacred. Love does not come easily. It's already hard to find the one and only person you like and adore. To make things even harder, the condition of love is that, he/she has to love you too. I always hear the saying that the one you marry might not be the one you love, how true is that again? Shall we settle for what is best we can get? Where is the love of our life then?

Long ago, a guy who had been in a relationship with a girl for 2 years, asked me to be his gf. I told him, if he was really serious with me, he did not have to tell me that he had a gf. He could have settled his problem with his gf first before even consider courting me.

Then after a few days, he assured that he would break up with his gf. I knew he was serious. I guess I don't have the third party gene. Instead of feeling flattered, I felt really guilty and sorry. I sat down with the guy and asked him one question, "Are you willing to give up your two years relationship for a person you barely know? Think about the good times you had with your gf. Two years is not easy."

Weeks later, he thanked me. He told me that what I said was true. He was happy to find love again with his gf. I was so glad for them. In fact, it still send a smile on my face even until now.

Sometimes I thought, I had never interfere in any other people's relationship. How do I always get people to interfere in mine? There is a choice whether you want to be a third party. But if you do choose to be one, then be prepared to get hurt.

I don't understand how could anyone have the heart to hurt other people. What were they even thinking while they took the courage to interfere. Have they not think of happily ever after? Do they think they deserve a happy ending? If they really want the relationship, they should let the person they love settle his/her own love issue first. Can't they wait?

Maybe they don't interfere for love, they interfere for fun, for attention. They like people to worship them or maybe they just enjoy winning. Maybe there is no right and wrong in relationships, but there is surely good and bad. Why do I hate third parties? Because to me, they are not good people. They have chosen to hurt other people, maybe including themselves.

Do I think that people who invite third parties are also bad people? Hahahha.. I will write more in my next post entitled "People who invite third parties". I guess I will delay the post. My headache is getting worst. Good night everyone.


(This post is drafted since 4th May 2009.)

RM80 to gamble on "You're not lying"

I don't feel right. It has been eight and a half hours since the incident took place, but it still doesn't wave off from my head.

I have been conned. A total of RM80 to be precise. I am still not able to stand back on my feet. I don't know whether I should call someone to talk about it. But it's 2.30am in the morning. And there is no one here to hear my story.

I have tried sleeping but whenever I think of the two, I thought innocent, women, I was not even able to close my eyes. How can human be like this? How can human open their eyes and lie to you like she is telling the truth.

Maybe it is not them that I am afraid of. Maybe the fact that make me so scared is what human is capable of. I don't want to go further into the conversation on how I was being conned. It was shameful that a grown up like me can't even differentiate whether a person is lying.

The story took placed almost 9 hours ago. I was walking alone in Sunway Pyramid when two women came to me and claimed that they had lost all their money from Genting. They were there to meet a friend to borrow money but apparently the friend had flied to Singapore and would only be back the next day.

She of course said a lot of things to make me believe that she was really having this crisis. She said she needed a cab to the city. I gave her RM30. It was more than enough to get anywhere, I guess. Then she insisted that she need more to go back to Genting and that she haven't even eaten yet. She said she would surely return my money and she was not asking for sympathy.

So basically, I gave her RM30 but she insisted in returning to me the next day. Then she asked whether I can borrow her more. I was giving a lot of excuses but in the end, SHE WON! She took another RM50 from me. Even used her HP to miss call me so that she couldn't run away.

She swore she will return the money back to me tomorrow when her friend is here. However, I know, she will not appear tomorrow. I am struggling. All the details of the conversation keep flowing back into my head. Is what she was telling true? What if it's not? Can I find any clue in the conversation to tell me that she's lying.

If it is a lie, I can tell you that the lie was perfect to a first time listener. However, the flaws of a potential lie have been hunting me. I keep telling myself. It's just RM80. It will probably be gone for watching another concert. I keep on calming myself. If compared to being robbed, what I experienced is so minor.

But I still don't feel calm. I still cannot swing off the thought of having so many liars around us. I may be lucky. For I might have just given RM80 to buy what she said was true. Some other people might have given their whole life just to buy an everlasting vow that gain no return. It made me realize that, we are all risk takers.

Hopefully after writing so much, I will be able to sleep a bit. I guess I will give more details on the conversation after confirming she is a liar. However, I sort of confirmed that she is. Should I be hoping they will call me to return money to me? Hahahahha... We'll see in another 8 hours time. I guess we can only hope the best out of a human. Good night everyone.