Christmas for me

Every time when it comes to year end, it will be joyous. For year end is always so festive, so merry. Happy songs are played in all shopping malls. Everywhere is filled with light bulbs, Christmas trees and Santa. It's a festival of happiness and gifts. It lightens up my birthday but I guess in a way, it does over-shadow it.

This year, my Christmas is a bit different. I start to wonder what Christmas really is. I was told before that it's not about what we celebrate today but it is a very meaningful day for all Christians. However, it is celebrated by non-Christians nowadays too. So, why are we, non-Christians, celebrating Christmas?

I don't feel the joy this year. I guess maybe it's the age. Or maybe it's that I start to ponder why I am celebrating Christmas. As I have a deeper thought on it, I think I shouldn't be celebrating. Therefore, I am working today, so that other Christians can enjoy what belongs to them. The office is so empty. Since I am supporting UK accounts now, I thought I will have less calls today but I was totally wrong! I have been working for 5 hours now, not even a single call I received! Well, no calls for the day I guess.

Maybe I don't understand Christmas. Maybe Christmas to Buddhist is like Thaipusam to Christians. Maybe it's just me getting older and thinking more. But ultimately, I knew that I like year end. Because it is the time I review myself how I did the whole year. Bacause It's a reminder to myself to be better the next year.

I guess this year, I will set a list I want to do and have it reviewed it next year. Hopefully by then, I will be able to tell myself that I have been a good person and I do deserve the celebration, and a present from Santa.