我从来都不明白第三者是怎么想的....
xxx
I never understand the thoughts of a third party. They have always appeared so confident. They always think they are the center of attraction. They think everyone, including people who already have a girlfriend/boyfriend, are head over heals in love with them.
But at the same time, it appears to me that they are those people who do not have self-confidence at all. I don't know whether to hate them or to pity them.
Why do I hate a third party in a relationship? Well, they happened to have the same lines. I have at least heard three third parties saying this, "It's not my fault that she chose me over him," or worst, "It's not my fault if she can't take care of his own boyfriend." Well, some even don't admit saying that before.
In this modern world, do we still hate third party so much? I mean it's a competitive world. We compete among each other to get what we want. We compete with other candidates for a job. We compete with our colleagues to get promoted. And yet, can competition be applied in relationships?
Do you compete with one and other to win the guy of your dreams? Is it something like shown on TV, "The Bachelor"? How well can you accept being picked or chosen like roses in the market?
Love is supposed to be sacred. Love does not come easily. It's already hard to find the one and only person you like and adore. To make things even harder, the condition of love is that, he/she has to love you too. I always hear the saying that the one you marry might not be the one you love, how true is that again? Shall we settle for what is best we can get? Where is the love of our life then?
Long ago, a guy who had been in a relationship with a girl for 2 years, asked me to be his gf. I told him, if he was really serious with me, he did not have to tell me that he had a gf. He could have settled his problem with his gf first before even consider courting me.
Then after a few days, he assured that he would break up with his gf. I knew he was serious. I guess I don't have the third party gene. Instead of feeling flattered, I felt really guilty and sorry. I sat down with the guy and asked him one question, "Are you willing to give up your two years relationship for a person you barely know? Think about the good times you had with your gf. Two years is not easy."
Weeks later, he thanked me. He told me that what I said was true. He was happy to find love again with his gf. I was so glad for them. In fact, it still send a smile on my face even until now.
Sometimes I thought, I had never interfere in any other people's relationship. How do I always get people to interfere in mine? There is a choice whether you want to be a third party. But if you do choose to be one, then be prepared to get hurt.
I don't understand how could anyone have the heart to hurt other people. What were they even thinking while they took the courage to interfere. Have they not think of happily ever after? Do they think they deserve a happy ending? If they really want the relationship, they should let the person they love settle his/her own love issue first. Can't they wait?
Maybe they don't interfere for love, they interfere for fun, for attention. They like people to worship them or maybe they just enjoy winning. Maybe there is no right and wrong in relationships, but there is surely good and bad. Why do I hate third parties? Because to me, they are not good people. They have chosen to hurt other people, maybe including themselves.
Do I think that people who invite third parties are also bad people? Hahahha.. I will write more in my next post entitled "People who invite third parties". I guess I will delay the post. My headache is getting worst. Good night everyone.
(This post is drafted since 4th May 2009.)
6 comments:
This is a great piece that you have right here. I am truly surprised that it did not trigger any response.
It was a great thing that you did back then. :) But do we really have to take side when it comes to the other person in a relationship? Do we have to hate or like? Can't we just stay neutral?
Talking about the other person in a relationship, check out this song, Sugarland - Stay, my favourite song last year. Thanks to those idiots in YouTube, I searched for over an hour, and couldn't get the original video.
Thanks Nam.
That's a good question. I don't think we need to take sides. It's like you don't need to take sides whether you like eating rice or noodles more.
Of course, some people will particularly hate noodles. Right?
That's a very sad song you recommended. She has so much love for him. I felt she sang her heart out, it was really very touching.
“I’ve given you my best, why does she get the best of you?” I didn’t know you can put that in words. It's indeed sad.
“Why don’t you stay?” The first line and the second have contrasting meaning. I love it when the latter actually mean him to stay with the other party. It’s so brilliant to play around with the same line of words but with different meaning. I just love the song. Thanks again.
I guess love does happen at the wrong time with the wrong person. When that happens, everybody hurts.
Love strips people of their morality and rationality. Perhaps there is no right or wrong when it comes to this thing called LOVE (not like I understand it).
People in love are vulnerable, they got stuck in dilemma, and they made decision that people don't and won't understand.
You know what, you just picked my favourite line of the song there. Glad to have an old friend who shares a common liking, isn't that wonderful?
“I’ve given you my best, why does she get the best of you?”
So much love for a person who has not been in love before (publicly).
I do miss a lot the time we spent together. We can argue on one topic for quite some time can't we?
And I guess we finally develop a tacit friendship.
Oh... Why don't you stay (in Cyberjaya)?
"What were they even thinking while they took the courage to interfere."
Well, my answer is: they were simply being selfish.
Of course, more often than not, some guys would hide the fact that they're alr in a relationship with someone else.
And to a guy that dumps his gf for a third party, I simply say, good riddance to the guy.
I have personally been there, done that.. (also unwittingly became '3rd party' before)
XWei, I have always admire your personality. I guess no one will admit that they have interfered in other's relationship.
I like people with really positive and honest attitude. One thing I don't like about 3rd parties is that, their relationships are full of lies.
I like honest people like you, they're so true from the heart! We have to be good friends!
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